In Loving Memory of Geena Torres-Hodgins

Big Gee,

Where has the time gone. On Monday, September 5th, it will be
one year that you left this world, and entered into a better place.

A place that we all want to be someday, unfortunately,
God took you away from all of us to early.

We wanted to see you enjoy your life, your home, and car, and the
families and friends who loved you so much. But God had other plans for
you Gee, and we must accept them, even though we all ache inside.

I cannot begin to tell you how much Little Gee, Julia talk about you and
miss you with all their hearts. They are both getting so big, and so beautiful.

Jaime looks so much like Julia, you would laugh if you saw her hair, we named
her "crazy hair"... She is so beautiful with lots of hair that goes everywhere.

We miss you Geena,
Sue

Geena, these storms and hurricanes will be constant reminders every year that the anniversary of your death is coming. Untimely, and at times unacceptable, your loss is still so great. Sometimes I can not find enough air to catch my breath when I am thinking of you... I love you...

I miss you Geena. I woke up this morning after a dream about you and you were on my mind. I miss you. LORD, oh heavenly father I ask that you comfort everyone and lift their spirits, we need you! Geena, I know that you are watching over us all.

I knew Geena from IBM. I just wanted to add that Geena was the nicest, sweetest, person I ever met at IBM. She had a very calming effect on those around her including me. She was always very pleasant and I don't think I every saw her have a bad day! The last thing we talked about was her getting a Prius and I would let her know if I saw that some were available.

Given that, whenever I see a Prius now, I think of Geena. I do miss her
and am sorry that I will not get the chance to work with her any more.

Sincerely,
Jeffry Ullman

I've been listening to Donna Summer while cleaning the house this morning and I had to write to you....Oh Geena, so many stories to tell, so many places to go, so many laughs and many many tears still to come....just so many things....I love u and miss you...(When I get up there we'll have a long over due Ms. Pac-Man tournament to begin-which you will probably kick my butt in anyway!!!!)

Hey Gee, it really does not get any easier. I am trying to get my own space and this process has been kickin' my you know what, but I continue to push ahead, you know how us Caps do. It still seems like yesterday. A few weeks back I had a really, really, hard time...there was someone in the store that resembled you a great deal. I burst into tears...Sherice held me. It hurts so bad, sometimes, other times I laugh out loud regarding one of my memories of us hanging. I recalled that crappy apartment in Potsdam, what a dump but boy did we have a great time. Keep smiling on us. Ciao, Nikki

I still can not believe you're gone. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you. I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I have many dreams with you. One dream sticks out. I was on a bus (you know that was a dream--me on a bus) the bus stops and you get on. I start screaming "you're alive." You come over to me, hug me, and tell me you're alright, you're in a good place, you're happy. You told me to tell your mother you're alright. I tried to hold on to you but you said you had to go. I woke up crying, mad at myself for letting you go until I realized it was a dream. I believe you are in a better place but I still miss you.
Love always, Tony

Gee, as hard as it is to write this, it brings me comfort to communicate with you in any way that I can...I can not believe a year has passed and I have not seen you or heard your voice...It aches my heart so much but it brings me much joy to know that your spirit is always with me. I just got married and Ryan just turned 4, and he knows and remembers you---I make sure....I just miss you...You'd be so proud of me. Every step I take I think if you would approve or disapprove which guides my judgment everyday. Our experiences that evolved into our deep connection is gone and has left me empty and sometimes lost but I know that I must remain strong as you always were. Geena, your spirit lives in me...I love you everyday 100 times.---Always, Knuckle.

Geena... today is a bittersweet day for me. I achieved one of the goals I had told you about last summer... but you're not around for me to share it with you. I know you would be happy and excited for me as you always were.

It's been almost 10 months since your passing and some days it seems I still have such difficulty truly accepting the fact that you're gone. I think of you many, many times throughout the day and it seems like everywhere I go something reminds me of you. I keep your photo clipped to my computer monitor and, oddly, it mostly gives me a feeling of comfort knowing that you're there keeping me company, even if only to smile back at me.

I miss our regular lunches that oftentimes lasted 2 hours and would've
lasted longer had it not been for the fact that we'd need to get back to work.
I miss the phone calls from the girl who always ended them with "ciao". :-)

I feel truly blessed to have known you in my lifetime.
I miss you and love you...
~Leanne~

Hey Gee, I'm in Tarrytown and you've been with me every step of the way. I still haven't been to Salem...just not ready yet. I've talked of you with people who don't really know me but I'm moved to do so, I am triggered by so many things I see. Jadda graduated. Shawnee called me to talk because you were on her mind and she needed someone who'd understand...I told her this time of the year somethin' must've happened with us...but we're missin' you. I love you man. Ciao, Nik

Titi,
My graduation was a few weeks ago, and it was the first time that it hit me that you weren't going to show up. There's always that little piece of hope you hold on to, and that day I realized that I had to let go. Everyone had sour apple martinis, your favorite, and it brought me back to the cruise. Sometimes I take a quick look at the couch, because I still picture you sleeping on my couch, like before. Titi, I miss you so much I can't put into words how much my heart has been broken. I found a report I did like three years ago about who I look up to, and it was you. Today, I'm still looking up.... I love you Titi.

Gee,

I had Julia spend a few days with us, while Myrna was at her nieces graduation. Julia constantly was asking about you, telling us how she missed you, wondered if you could see her, and then was afraid to drive in my small car, because she said that you were in a small car and died.

I did all I could to keep from crying, I told her, no matter what kind of car you drive, accidents happen, and that is just what happened with you. I told her to think of you and all the happy times you shared together, and remember your beautiful smile. She went away, and came back with a picture she drew of you, and we put it on our refrigerator.

I wish you were here to see her grow as well as Gee and Jaime, they are
such adorable children. Please watch over them, they love you very much.

I miss seeing you Geena, it's been too long now. I miss your happy face,
and your smile. God be with you always, until we all meet again,

Sue

From: Chrisey Perez
(My Husband is Danny's brother I loved her like she was a sister.)
Date of Entry: 6-9-2005

I think of Geena daily and know she is in a great place. She brought so much love to my family. I wish I was able to thank her for the love she brought to my children (Jennifer and Billy). They loved her alot and have beautiful memories from her. Everytime Billy plays Playstation he thinks of her playing with him, and when Jennifer plays Scrabble she is always there. We miss her very much and love her alot.

Hey Gee, I am missing you so much. I'm in one of my valleys and I'm calling on you to help me start moving towards the mountaintop. I'm so selfish, but I wish I could hear you, now. Please continue to look out. You've gotta be smilin'. Boogah Bear and Doopah are fine. Jadda's starts @St. Joseph's this fall. Love ya, Nikki

Hi Honey....on Saturday Amanda graduated I felt your presence...I saw your face smiling at us ......how I miss you....my heart still cries for you....I think of you everyday with a prayer....I love you ..mom Myrna xxoxoxoxoxooxox

Big Gee,
I was telling Julia and Little Gee a story last night before they went to sleep. Julia asked me if you could see her, that she misses you and she was sad, Gee then said she missed you so much. I did all I could to keep from crying. The children miss you so much. I told them both that you would not want to see them sad and crying, that you always had a beautiful smile on your face, and that is what you would want them to be doing, not sad and crying. Tonight Julia was playing with stickers and writing, she just came to me while I am writing and said Grandma, I just made a picture of Badina, where can I hang it, I told her to put it on our refrigerator, so we can always see it and so will you. So she just ran off to put it on there.

We all miss you so much, you will always be with us
in our hearts and in our daily thoughts.

You made such an impression on the girls, they will never forget
your love for them, and we will never let them forget.

Sue Burns

Hi Geena,

How's it going up there? Must be doing a lot of riding with your horse eh? I don't know why but I was thinking of you today and wanted to check in and say hello. Passed by that house that I told you was probably not a god buy, thing must be worth $200k more now! The whole neighborhood is done and Mini always looks over and gets silent when we pass by there. The girls are doing great and they often speak of you... We miss you cracker.

Hi Geena,

You were on my mind today. I just had a conversation with mommy about you and I just wanted to tell you that I miss you so much. Please give me a sign, a dream, or even a simple touch. I miss you Geena. Little Bryant talks about you during the most weirdest moments. He remembers when you guys were playing hide and seek as if it were yesterday. Well I gotta go and teach and now. I'm at work.
I love you Geena.
Mik

Hey Gee,

You visited me recently in my dreams and we were so happy and having so much fun. Actually, anytime a family member passes, you come by, maybe just to comfort. By now you know Uncle Clinton has moved on. I worry as my aunts and uncles are getting up there. Boogah Bear aka Lil Bennet is HUGE!!! He's a great baby! He smiles a whole lot and is very vocal. Doopah is growing and his vocabulary is amazing.
I miss you much. Love ya'
Ciao

It is the 21st day of March and I miss you more then ever. So many things are changing and so much has happened and every day I just want to pick up the phone to tell you. Lil' Gee is doing well but she misses you. Julia is great and loving her new school. I got a new job and I know you would have been so proud of me. Jaime has two new teeth and a smile, big and happy, like yours. James is doing well at his job and misses you too. I look at your picture everyday and wonder, can you see us? Can you hear me talking to you? If you can just know that we all miss you and things aren't the same without you. Love you knuckle.

From: Amanda (niece)
Date of Entry: 3-16-2005

Titi,
It has been half a year already since you have left, but it feels so much longer since I've given you a hug, and heard your laughter. Even though I know you are not here anymore, sometimes I call your phone, or I email you, even though I know that you won't pick up, just to feel as close to normal as possible. There's not one second that passes that I'm not thinking about you, you were like a sister to me, and I guess there won't be a day that I won't think of you. I just wanted to say I love you so much, and I hope your watching over us in heaven.

Love you, Ciao
Amanda

Hey Gee,

It's been awhile since I visited the site and lo and behold I see Shawnee's entry. Tears well up but they won't fall. You know I have always been steady and slow, so call me crazy, but now I am so angry. I refer to you and it hurts when I just can't reach you. So many have said that the pain will never lessen time will just pass. I am growing and appreciating all I can. My nephews are just wonderful. Boy would you spend a good time trying to reel Lil Bry in and you would have teased Shawnee to high heaven about Lil Ben. You never did put more memory in my laptop, now I've got to go to Comp...we were supposed to do up Key West...I have found so many new restaurants to share with you. I am ready to dog you in air hockey. Hey, I'm even taking a grad course in Spanish!!! I miss you so much. Forgive me for taking my time on this grieving bit but you know how I do.
Love ya, Nikki

My dearest Geena, sorry that it has taken me so long. You know that I stopped procrastinating in college. I actually wrote something shortly after your passing, I rewrote it a couple of times just to make sure that it was perfect, it hasn't made it's way into the guest book and it may never make it, but I know that you have read it already. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you. Events and memories of us that I placed in the back of my mind are more vivid each day... I just can't believe it... I thought it would be easier now but it's not. I guess that your work was done and it was time for you to move on and touch the lives of others. Call me selfish, but I wish that you could have slacked off on your work. I wish that I could see you interact with my son. I talk to him about you often. I will never forget the time that we shared... remember the taxi ride with Cookie, the day you wore mix-match shoes to work and the night you were ready to fight 25 girls at a party in school because Brenda and I were about to be jumped. You were always a protector. Hey, you were the 2nd best dancer at the wedding and I knew that you would love the red dress. I will always remember your sense of humor, beauty, creativity, quirkiness, zest for life and your hands, that always managed to heal the wounded soul. I will always love you.

From: Donna Cheng (IBM colleague)
Date of Entry: 1-18-2005

Several months have passed since the tragedy and loss of Geena. I just wanted to let you know that she is remembered and thought of daily among her colleagues. I only met Geena by phone and worked with her on several accounts. She was smart and quick on her feet. Her customers loved and respected her and she was kind. These are things I remember about her and will always think of her in this way. God Bless her and her family.

P.S. Thank you for sharing these photos of her.

From: Susan Burns (Myrna Burns' mother-in-law)

Gee,
Happy 34th Birthday!!! I did not realize that your birthday is the same day
as my mothers. I thought of you on this day, and said a prayer for you.

We all miss you so much. Myrna and James miss you, there is a void in their life without you, I can see it. The children miss you more then words can say. It hurts me to see the kids cry for you, I do all I can to reassure them that you are with them in spirit, and you are watching over them. We will always remember you Gee, and miss you.

Love, Sue Burns

From: Lisa Burns (family friend)

I was staring at your picture today... thinking it has been way too long since I've seen you in person. Where were you on the girls birthdays? Where were you at Halloween? Thanksgiving? Christmas? You didn't see the cactus that you gave my mom two years ago had finally bloomed this year. It's beautiful, and I'd like to think that maybe you had something to do with it. It kills me when 'little one' (Julia) picks up your picture in my room, shows it to me, and says something about you. And she is so serious, you should see her face! I smile big though, and say something happy, not revealing that I too miss you and am so sad for you and my nieces, and especially my sister-in-law, who are just crazy missing you too. Happy Birthday... Love, Lisa

From: Monique "Nikki" DeMory (a best friend)

Hey Gee, I've been dreading this day--our day. It hurts that there will be no phone call or card from you!!! It was fun trying to race and see who would call the other first to wish happy birthday. I'm getting older and you will forever be 33. I miss you. Remember, we met around a birthday game!!! It was like I'd known you forever. Until we meet again, my friend...Love ya, Nikki

From: Mom (Myrna Sr. - I was like a second mom ...)

HI Honey....Happy Birthday..My heart cannot understand that you are not here....I miss you so much..But I know you are in a better place...When I close my eyes all I see is your special smile...Hey baby watch over us with courage and strength...may be one day we can all understand why you are not here with us....I LOVE you with every beat of my heart...mom

From: Jessie (Lil' sister)

Geena, there are no words to express how sad I am that you are not here to
celebrate one of the best days ever known, your birth day.
I love you and miss you everyday....Happy 34th Geena...
Love, Knuckle, Ryan, Vincent and Aaron.

From: Myrna Burns (sister) - a.k.a. "Mini"

Hey Knuckle, you have always denied that you were older then me if only by two months and now you cheated as always! You get to be 33 forever. I miss you Gee more then I ever thought possible. I miss talking to you everyday so my days are quiet except for the little ones. Happy Birthday Sis and today I will make your chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, just the way you like it! We love you.

Your Sister,
Mini
1/13/05

From: Franklin Armas (brother)

Happy Birthday Sis,
Although it is still very hard for me to realize that you are
no longer here, I feel that you are watching over me.
Please bless and watch over your family and mine.

From your brother who will never stop loving you and will never forget you,
Franky
1/13/05

From: Leanne Valdes-Paynter (a best friend)

I suppose it was because I was thinking more than usual about you yesterday (in anticipation of today, what would've been your 34th birthday) that you were in one of my dreams last night, for the 2nd time since you passed away. It felt good because I got to hug you in the dream, but sad when I woke up only to remember you're not here with us.

Happy Birthday in Heaven, Geena.

Love you... miss you EVERY day.

Thank you so much, Mini and Boo, I've been so reluctant to share b/c it seems like I can't let her go. Jaime is beautiful!!! Gee, by now you've seen my Granny and I'm sure my Aunt Dorrie has found you. Shawnee and Bennett have a wonderful new baby, Bennett Sean. I know you already know, knucklehead. I miss you. Shawnee misses you. I am dreading our birthday...but it will be alright. Keep looking out for us all, as we need you, as you always did and do. Love ya
Ciao,
Nikki

Merry Christmas in Heaven, Geena. I can't believe you won't be on my couch this year. I have seen so many great gifts for you. And we cried putting up the tree without you. It is hard to know that I will miss you for the rest of my life--it is sometimes overwhelming. I miss you sweetie and I look for you everywhere. Nothing is the same without you. A part of you remains with me and a part of me has gone with you. I love you kiddo.

Missing you,
your big sister-Boobie

It has been over three months since you have been gone and there isn't a day that I don't think of you. We missed you for the girls birthdays and for the birth of our new baby girl Jaime. She looks just like Julia but bigger and I pray that you are watching over her. She has a lot of hair and she is always laughing. I miss our phone calls, lunches, hugs, your funny laugh and our talks laying on my bed. There is so much I miss about you and deep down inside I don't want to believe that you are gone. Julia asks for you often and she has an incredible memory. She wears the pjs you got her all the time and every time she puts it on she says "Madrina bought this for me". Lil' Gee misses you dearly, especially on the big days like her birthday, the day of her school show and other things like that. We all miss you. I really just wanted to skip the "holidays" since you are not here to share them with us but the kids are excited about Santa coming so I move forward. Some days are just so hard and every night I wait to see if I get to see you in my dreams. I have only been lucky once but I will wait for you to come again. I love you and miss you Gee, everyday.

to view photos of Geena

. . . or . . .

to view Page 3 of
Geena's Guest Book
.